Tomorrow is Friday and I’m burned out to the nth degree. I got a call today from my mom. My uncle was found unconscious in his hospital room. His body had just given up. He passed not long after.
My uncle had gone in for surgery on his legs at the end of November. He went in for surgery a few days after my grandfather passed away. My grandfather was old. Old people die, that’s a part of life I accepted long ago. They lived together. My uncle had a rough life. He was his own worst enemy. Drink, drugs, you name it. He’d call me drunk at 3am because it was midnight in Cali and he wanted to talk. I’d bitch at him for waking me and hang up. He was only 58 years old. That’s not old. A few dudes I fish with are older than that and they’re in great health. He could have had another 30 years ahead of him but he lived hard. The last time I saw him, he came out to Indiana for my wedding in 2008. I didn’t get to spend enough time with him.
Sometimes I try to wrap my head around why people destroy themselves. I’ve watched friends do it right in front of me and I’ve never been able to figure out why. What the hell in life is so bad that you have to use drink and drugs as an escape? Years ago I tried it myself. I didn’t like what it made me. I quit. I guess some people can’t quit or don’t want to quit. Some people want to quit but don’t know how to quit. If you need help, seek it out. Talk to people. Don’t destroy yourself. It might seem like fun at the time but it sure as hell hurts a lot of people later.
I’m not a religious man, not at all, but Bobby I hope you’ve found the peace you couldn’t find in life.